Networking Success Depends On The Art of Small Talk

The networking buzz has continued to grow over the last decade and has become a necessary marketing platform for the small business owner’s sustainability. There are a number of networking organizations, opportunities, and events available on a weekly basis and many business professionals regularly attend multiple gatherings. Most business people describe themselves as networkers but few are effectively networking. Why?

In order to be an effective networker, you must first backup two steps. Begin with learning, practicing, and mastering the art of small talk. This lays the groundwork for the second step, developing authentic face-to-face relationships.  Only after successful navigation through small talk and relationship building can effective networking follow.

Small talk is defined as polite conversation. Art is the skill acquired through practice; therefore, the art of small talk is the skill of polite conversation. While most extroverts have no problem engaging in conversation, it is the appropriate subject matter and the ratio of listening to speaking that is gained through learning the art of small talk. The introvert may need to plan ahead just to muster the ability to approach a conversational opportunity. Let’s move on.

The greatest social fears in our society today are public speaking and starting a conversation with a stranger. I have a theory as to the why behind this: What did your parents and caregivers tell you when you were growing up? “Don’t talk to strangers.” “Stranger danger.” “Stay away from strangers.” Now that we are all grown up, it is suddenly an expectation that we talk to strangers, are happy about it, and build relationships with these dangerous people! No wonder there is an epidemic fear of talking to people we don’t know!

Let’s learn to get past this fear. When entering into a conversational opportunity with strangers, first look for approachable people. Who are they? What do they look like? Approachable people have open body language. They are standing or sitting tall, shoulders open to the room or group of people. Their eyes are scanning the room, they make and keep eye contact with you and return your smile.

Now that you have identified an approachable person, what happens next? You introduce yourself with a firm handshake and a tagline that follows your name. The tagline should give information as to who you are, what you do, or why you are attending the event. It should look something like this: “Hi, I’m Patty Slupecki, Trainer and Coach with Professional Etiquette Consulting. I’m here to give the feature presentation today.”

You’re off to a great start; you know one another’s names and at least one other piece of information. The next step is to keep the conversation going. A foolproof method to do this is looking for other free information that could give you clues for asking questions. Free information comes in many forms; it could be a logo on a shirt, a diploma on the wall, family photos, or an award on a shelf. By using this information to ask open-ended questions, you will enable the other person to do 75% of the talking -Great for the introvert and a lesson in ‘two ears one mouth’ for the extrovert.

After practicing this method, a level of comfort will develop and you will be using small talk to actively build interpersonal relationships. You have moved from strangers to acquaintances and next, on to business referral partners. Once you get to know another personally and professionally, business networking will be an effective method to grow your business!

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