What is Ruder than Not Responding to a RSVP?

R.S.V.P. stands for "répondez, s'il vous plaît," a French phrase, meaning "please reply." This acronym is commonly found on invitations to any number of formal and informal gatherings. It is a simple request from the host/hostess to aid them in planning the event for the comfort and enjoyment of their guests.

There are a few common variations of this request: ‘RSVP’, ‘Regrets Only’, and ‘Please Reply with Number of Guests’. Usually a date, or deadline, is associated with the need for a response. Additionally, the invitation will tell guests how to respond: email, phone, text, social media, etcetera. Regardless of how a request for a response is worded, it is expected that the recipient will reply on time and in the manner which was requested.

Also keep in mind who the invitation was extended to; in other words, only those specifically addressed on the invitation are invited. The recipient should not assume they can bring a date, friend, or children unless the invite specifically says so!

Do all invitations require a response? Certainly not. However, if you are asked to R.S.V.P., it is common courtesy to let the host/hostess know if you will attend the event or not.

Imagine you are the party or event planner. You need to make arrangements for the proper number of seats, the appropriate amount of food and beverages. These things must be ordered or shopped for in advance. If you are using a caterer, they likely require a final head count a week in advance. If you are preparing the food yourself, it takes time to plan the menu, make a shopping list, purchase all necessary ingredients, prepare the food, and make a seating chart. Therefore, it is important to know how many guests to expect.

Now, imagine it is one week before your event, the R.S.V.P. due date, and you have only heard back from four out of 25 invited guests. What do you do? Prepare food for four guests? Prepare food for 25 guests? Set the table for four? Arrange for seating for 25? Purchase two bottles of wine or a case of wine? Use your china because you own eight place settings? Rent table ware for 25?

As you can see, there are a number of important reasons to respond to an invitation when asked. So, what is ruder than NOT replying? Asking the host/hostess after the RSVP deadline if you can still attend the event is ruder. They have already assumed you are not attending because of your lack of a timely response and have planned accordingly. Now there may be a need to rearrange plans to accommodate extra people.

So, what is ruder than NOT replying or replying late with the expectation you are still welcome? Showing up unexpected is ruder and derails all the planning. The host/hostess must take the attention off of those who were expected (because they replied) to find seating, food, beverages, plates, and glasses for the extra, unexpected guest.

Do not ever assume that one more person doesn’t matter. If five people show up with that attitude, it just may be the host/hostess that have to go without in order to make the unexpected guests feel welcome. Rude behavior will be remembered and the offender’s image and reputation will be affected.

Be polite, graciously accept or decline invitations by the date requested, and in the manner requested.

©Professional Etiquette Consulting LLC

3 Places Your Name Tag Does NOT Belong

The wearing of name tags is a necessary, business etiquette requirement in many situations such as, networking events, seminars, large business meetings, and training workshops. Few people recognize the importance of a properly placed name tag which cause a number of uncomfortable predicaments.

1. Your name tag does not belong on a strap around your neck. Multi-day business conferences are   probably the most likely occasion for this faux pas. I know, the event coordinators believe they are providing relief from the cheap stick-on name tags that fall off and seem to make their way to the floor or someone else’s shoe. Or perhaps attendees are being saved from the pin-on varieties that almost always snag and ruin several outfits.

So what is left? A necklace of questionable quality from which a 5X7, plastic encased card hangs. Perhaps it could serve as a souvenir from the event. I digress. The point is; this type of name tag invariably gets twisted around so that the name is no longer visible to the person standing in front of you – purpose lost! Or, the tag sits directly in the middle of your chest; this is not a preferred location to stare at a woman while trying to read her name. Please mind your manners.

2. A name tag does not belong on your belt or the band of your pants/trousers. It’s just uncomfortable staring at a man’s middle section trying to read his name. This location is also further from your eyes, so if you are already having a hard time seeing the font size, now you need to stare longer. Again, manners should prevail.

3. Finally, a name tag does not belong on your left shoulder. This will cause your eyes to shift back and forth across the body and could be misinterpreted as ‘checking out’ the other person.

Where does your name tag belong? Proper business etiquette says your right side, slightly below your shoulder is the correct location. The reason for this is because everyone, even lefties, shake hands with their right hand. It is a natural flow for eyes to travel from the extended right hand, up to the right shoulder, and continue on to meet the eyes of the other person.

Save yourself from the etiquette misstep of improper name tag placement, locate your name tag on your right side, it’s the right way!

©Professional Etiquette Consulting LLC

How to Introduce Yourself in 3 Easy Steps

Not all people are comfortable introducing themselves. Those with an introverted preference, for example, often keep to themselves in a social or networking environment. Not because they are disinterested or rude, but because they have to take it all in and process what is going on before they are comfortable interacting with others orally. 

Some people may feel inferior in a certain situation and believe they are unworthy of speaking to a particular person or group. This often happens when public figures or celebrities are involved. However, etiquette dictates that we properly introduce ourselves to those we do not know, especially in a business situation.

Whatever the reason for your lack of comfort with self-introductions, the strategy for forging ahead is the same. You will see that with three easy steps, you will learn to introduce yourself with confidence.

Step 1: Plan Ahead

Decide before attending an event that you will introduce yourself. Visualize yourself with a smile on your face, firm hand offered to someone you haven’t previously met, and an audible, clear voice. Now imagine yourself saying, “Hi, I’m Patty Slupecki.”

Prepare a second line for your introduction that offers a bit more information about who you are or why you are in attendance. For example, “I’m a business coach with Professional Etiquette Consulting and I’m speaking at today’s workshop.” This gives enough information for the other person to respond and ask questions and follows proper business etiquette.

Step 2: Practice

Practice your self-introduction in front of mirror or record yourself and watch the playback. Take note of the volume and tone of your voice, the speed with which you speak, and your body language. You should be heard with a strong, clear voice and speaking at a comfortable pace. Your shoulders should be squared to your audience and relaxed. You are standing tall and your hand is fully open to accept the grip of another. A warm smile is present; don’t fake this.

Step 3: Assume Confidence

Act as though you are confident in meeting and greeting a new person. You are the only one who knows about your discomfort, so simply pretend that for that moment in time, you are confident!

Introducing yourself is really as easy as 1, 2, 3: plan ahead, practice, and assume confidence. This strategy takes less than five minutes to follow and saves hours of agonizing over how to avoid talking to a new person. You just might meet your next best client!

 ©Professional Etiquette Consulting llc